Day-of-Despair is nearing in less than 18hrs...haizz...but seriously i dun feel anytink...neither anxious nor excited...wadz wrong wif me??...2 mths ago, when i 1st came to YJ, i detested...but nw, i longed to stay even tho i noe i haf 80% chance of leaving...the ppl, the place, the canteen food(stall no. 2 and 3), i cant bear to part wif dem......and esp my dear...i noe u gave me the freedom 2 make my own choice, u r actually forcing me to make painful decisions...its tormenting and excruciating...n u noe how much i love u......sum ppl say, once 2 lovebirds get separated fr their cages, dey wil b apart 4eva...i dun wish tt day would come, but i shldnt get irrational in my tinking...

the results wil finally b out tmr...2 hope for gd or bad results i m seriously in a dilemma...tis iz the 1st time i experience such oppressing feeling of contradiction...i prayed sincerely for my dear for gd results...but wad bout me??...wad would i do if i were able 2 get into a better college??...tis thot has been hovering in my mind for the past mth, but i haf seemed to let it go rite at tis veri moment, rite b4 the day the results are going 2 b out...whY??...y dun i feel afraid...afraid of losing evrytink tt i used to haf......perhaps my thots haf been straightened...by God?? i m nt sure, perhaps its by circumstances ard me and by u, my dear...u gave me the strength to carry on...thanks for all tis sweet memories and happiness u brought me during these few wks, n i hope we can cont'd to b 2gether til end of time...

last but nt least. gd luck to everyone for their Os.